


Smoke and Mirrors

by Longitudinalwave



Series: The Flash: Onstage [5]
Category: The Flash (Comics), The Flash - All Media Types
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-31
Updated: 2020-12-31
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:41:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28456248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Longitudinalwave/pseuds/Longitudinalwave
Summary: The Top can be a bit difficult to get along with....
Relationships: Roscoe Dillon/Lisa Snart
Series: The Flash: Onstage [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2084241
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	Smoke and Mirrors

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dillonmania](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dillonmania/gifts), [Swashbuckler](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swashbuckler/gifts).



> Hi! Thanks for checking out my story. 
> 
> The story doesn't fit in any particular continuity; hopefully it's fun regardless.

**_The Flash_ **stars in **: Smoke and Mirrors**

**Dramatis Personae**

**Wally West,** the energetic, enthusiastic, and confident third Flash 

**Iris Allen,** the wife of Barry Allen and a daredevil reporter

**Mirror Master,** alias Sam Scudder, a talented inventor and the de facto second-in-command of the Rogues

**The Top,** alias Roscoe Dillon, an arrogant elitist who is suffering from a mysterious disease

**Weather Wizard,** alias Mark Mardon, a rather dimwitted thief with an obscenely powerful weapon, the weather wand

**The Trickster,** alias James Jesse, a charming con man with no fashion sense

**Script**

Act I 

_ (Enter Wally West and Iris Allen, who has just arrived to the Flash Airport of Central City)  _

**Wally:** Hi, Aunt Iris! How have you been? It’s so nice to have you back!

**Iris:** Hi, Wally. It’s good to be back. How’s your Uncle Barry been? 

**Wally:** He’s been great. Really slow since he lost his super speed, of course, but otherwise, he’s fine. He even took down the Trickster all by himself! 

**Iris:** I heard. It made a great story.  _ (Pause)  _ How have he and Bart been doing since I went on my trip? 

**Wally:** Bart’s still really impulsive, and he scared Uncle Barry half to death when he ran to New York City and watched an off-off-Broadway show without telling anyone, but overall he’s been doing great. Uncle Barry enrolled him in sixth grade and he’s become friends with this girl named Carol and this boy named Preston, and he’s finally kind of adjusting to life outside the speed force. He’s still not crazy about Irey and Jai, though-he thinks they’re annoying tagalongs. Oh, and he discovered anchovy pizza for the first time, and, for some reason, he loves it! He’s eaten 45 slices in the past two days, and Uncle Barry says that he thinks he’ll single-handedly keep the neighborhood pizza place in business.  _ (Pause)  _ How was your trip? 

**Iris:** I loved it! There’s nothing quite like the thrill of investigating the government of Kandaq. 

**Wally:** But isn’t Kandaq led by Black Adam? 

**Iris:** Yes. That’s why it was so much fun to investigate what he’s been up to! Before I did some snooping around, no one knew what he was doing because everyone was too scared to check, so I was able to write the biggest exposé of my career and take down a supervillain at the same time. It was awesome! I even got to interview Captain Marvel after he rescued me from Black Adam. 

**Wally:** No wonder you won a Pulitzer.  _ (Pause)  _ So, besides risking your life, did you do anything else in Kandaq? I’ve heard it has delicious food. 

**Iris:** _ (Laughs)  _ Of course you would focus on the food.

**Wally:** Well, is it as good as Dick told me? 

**Iris:** Actually, yes. The spices in particular are delicious-and unique to the country, too! 

**Wally:** I’ll be right back.  _ (Wally exits, then rapidly re-enters)  _ That was delicious! 

**Iris:** That’s my Wally.  _ (Pause)  _ And to finish answering your question, besides eating and investigating, I did a lot of sightseeing and even more souvenir-buying. 

**Wally:** Sounds fun! 

**Iris:** It was.  _ (Pause)  _ And in speaking of souvenirs….. _ (Pulls t-shirt out of bag)  _ This is for you. 

**Wally:** _ (takes shirt, reads)  _ “I stood in the presence of the all-powerful Black Adam and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.”  _ (Laughs)  _ Thanks, Aunt Iris! I love it! 

**Iris:** I thought you might. I also got a doll of Isis for Irey, a book on Kandaq’s history for Jai, a longer book on the same subject for your Uncle Barry, a necklace for Linda, a fan for Joan, a scrapbook for Jay, and Captain Marvel’s signature and promise to visit our house for Bart. 

**Wally:** Sweet!  _ (Pause)  _ Do you have all your bags? 

**Iris:** Yes, I do. 

**Wally:** Then let’s get you home!  _ (Pause, then in “official” voice)  _ The West Delivery Service will get you there in three seconds, or your money back! 

**Iris:** _ (Laughs)  _ Definitely my Wally. 

_ (Both Exit)  _

Act II 

_ (Top is onstage, sitting at table and talking on the phone)  _

**Top:** _ (on the phone)  _ Greetings, my darling. How are you?  _ (Pause)  _ Excellent. I’m glad to hear it. How fares the mission?  _ (Pause)  _ What  _ sort _ of complications? You know as well as I do that I haven’t much time. If you do not find a cure soon, my powers will quite literally be the death of me. We do not have time for failure!  _ (Pause)  _ I’m sorry, honeybunch. I did not mean to snap at you. I am simply anxious. Even I cannot come out on  _ top _ in a battle with the grave.  _ (Pause) _ Of course I trust you, sweetums. Remember though, my darling, if my calculations are correct, I only have a month left. We must get the cure!  _ (Pause)  _ Well that, at least, is good news. If Allen likes you, it will not be long before he is willing to trust you enough to help you find the cure.  _ (Pause) _ I love you, dearest. Farewell.  _ (Puts phone away and puts on earmuffs)  _ And now to enjoy my meal in peace. 

_ (Enter Trickster, Mirror Master, and Weather Wizard)  _

**Weather Wizard:** So, how’d you guys find me? 

**Trickster:** It’s simple, Wiz! We followed the reports of snowstorms in July. 

**Mirror Master:** You aren’t exactly subtle, Mardon.

**Weather Wizard:** Fair enough. I guess being able to control the weather doesn’t leave much room for subtlety.  _ (Pause)  _ So, what do you two want? 

**Mirror Master:** Your help. If there’s anyone who can keep the Flash away from our heists, it’s you. You’re more powerful than all of us-even me. 

**Weather Wizard:** I know. 

**Trickster:** And you’re modest, too. 

**Weather Wizard:** Hey, if you could control the weather with a flick of the wrist, you’d be a little arrogant, too. 

**Trickster:** Fair enough.  _ (Pause)  _ Say, last I heard, your wand was busted. How’d you get it working again? 

**Weather Wizard:** _(Defensively)_ None of your business. I just did, okay? 

**Trickster:** _ (Suspiciously)  _ Oh, really? Then let me see the wand. 

**Weather Wizard:** No! You can’t touch it!

**Trickster:** Why not? 

**Weather Wizard:** Because it’s mine, and you aren’t gonna touch it! 

**Trickster:** _ (Grabs wand)  _ Too late! I already have it!

**Weather Wizard:** Give it back!  _ (Tries to grab wand, but fails and falls on his face)  _

**Trickster:** All right, Mr. Weather Wand. Make it rain! Bippity boppity boo!  _ (Waves wand, nothing happens)  _ That’s funny. I thought you said you fixed the wand, Wiz. 

**Weather Wizard:** _ (Gets to his feet and grabs the wand back)  _ Okay, so I exaggerated about being able to fix it. I’ve used the weather wand long enough that I was able to do a patch job and get it to make some snow, but it’s pretty much useless for any other form of weather. I can’t even make it whip up a decent blizzard! 

**Mirror Master:** All you can make is  _ snow? (Trickster notices the Top)  _

**Weather Wizard:** _ (Weakly)  _ Yeah.

**Mirror Master:** Well, that’s just great. Here I was thinking that we had tornadoes, lighting, and hail on our side, and all we have is a glorified snow machine!  _ (Pause)  _ And when were you planning on mentioning the fact that you can’t make anything but snow, anyway? When the Flash showed up to take us to jail? 

**Weather Wizard:** Well, to be honest, I hadn’t really thought out that far. I was trying to save face, not come up with a battle plan. 

**Mirror Master:** _ (Despondently)  _ There goes my Ferrari. 

**Trickster:** Don’t give up on the Ferrari just yet, Sam! I have a way to salvage our heist! 

**Mirror Master:** James, I already told you. I am not going to use a “whoopie cushion of doom” to stop the Flash. Unlike you, I have some dignity. 

**Trickster:** First, the Whoopie Cushion of Doom is high comedy, and you should be honored that I offered to let you use it. Second, that’s not it. 

**Mirror Master:** Then what is it? 

**Trickster:** It’s the Top! He’s sitting right over there!  _ (Points to Top)  _

**Mirror Master:** _ (Surprised)  _ So he is.

**Weather Wizard:** What’s he doing here? I thought he and Golden Glider were in Hawaii on the fifth anniversary of their first date or something. 

**Mirror Master:** Who knows with those two. Maybe they came home early. 

**Trickster:** Came home  _ early _ ? They never  _ went _ ! They’ve been in Central City this whole time!

**Weather Wizard:** They have? But then why did they tell everyone that they were on vacation? 

**Mirror Master:** Probably so they could spend time together without Captain Cold breathing down their necks. Given how overprotective he is, if I was dating Lisa, I would probably pretend to be out of the city, too. It’s hard to have romantic moments when you know that her big brother’s watching and will maim you if you look at her funny. 

**Trickster:** Nah, that’s not it. If Roscoe was afraid of Captain Cold, he wouldn’t challenge his authority all the time.  _ I _ think they’re planning something, something they want to keep secret from the rest of us, and I want to find out what it is.  _ (Taps Top on shoulder)  _ Hiya, Top!

**Top:** _ (Takes off earmuffs; Aside)  _ Why me?  _ (To Trickster)  _ What do you want? 

**Trickster:** Well, Mirror Master wants a Ferrari, and I want some excitement, so we need your help to rob the jewelry store on Fifth and Main. 

**Top:** I am afraid that you will be disappointed. I am quite busy, and am being pressed to the  _ top _ of my bent. I have no time for frivolities, Giovanni. 

**Weather Wizard:** Giovanni? Who’s Giovanni? 

**Trickster:** Me. 

**Mirror Master:** You gave the Top an alias when he asked for your real name? 

**Trickster:** _ (“Offended”)  _ No! I’d never do anything like that!  _ (Pause)  _ I didn’t give him an alias when he asked for my real name. I gave  _ you two _ an alias!

**Weather Wizard:** Your real name’s  _ Giovanni? _

**Trickster:** Yep! Giovanni Giuseppi. My family is Italian. 

**Mirror Master:** Then why do you always go by James Jesse? 

**Trickster:** Because Jesse was our family’s stage name from the circus. Since we used an alias in our performances, I got used to being called James, so I eventually decided to just start using it as my regular name. Besides, it’s easier to say than Giovanni Giuseppi. 

**Mirror Master:** Well, whoever you are, clearly, your plan failed. Dillon doesn’t want to get involved in our plan, and so it’ll be a bust. 

**Trickster:** _ (Aside)  _ Oh, ye of little faith.  _ (To Mirror Master)  _ I’ll be able to get him to come around. Trust me. 

**Mirror Master:** Forgive me if I’m less than convinced.  _ (Trickster walks over to Top)  _

**Trickster:** _ (To Top)  _ What if I told you that there would be something in it for you? 

**Top:** I would still refuse. As I already told you, I am quite preoccupied. Now, if you will excuse me, I am going home. 

**Trickster:** _ (Stopping Top)  _ Top, old buddy, just hear me out. If you don’t like it, I promise you can leave, but you’ve gotta at least learn what it is. 

**Top:** We are  _ not  _ “old buddies”, but, since you seem determined to annoy me until I listen to what you have to say, I suppose I will give in to the inevitable and allow you to speak. But be quick about it. I am giving you five minutes- _ tops _ . 

**Trickster:** You know what? Never mind. It was silly of me to think you would be motivated by something as small as an engagement ring.  _ (Moves out of Top’s way; To Mirror Master and Weather Wizard)  _ Come on, guys, let’s go. I’m sure I’ll be able to come up with something else.

**Top:** What was that about an engagement ring? 

**Trickster:** Oh, you wouldn’t be interested in it, I’m sure. 

**Top:** You are mistaken. Do tell me what you think I will get out of this heist. 

**Trickster:** Are you sure? If you really are busy, I don’t want to bother you. 

**Top:** No, no. I am fine. Please, tell me what you mean.

**Trickster:** Well, if you insist…..A few months ago, Lisa told me that she saw the perfect engagement ring at the jewelry store that we’re planning to rob, and that she would be thrilled if you proposed to her with it. But like I said, if you don’t want to help us….

**Top:** _ (Quickly)  _ If it will please Lisa, I would very much like to help ensure that you come out on  _ top _ . 

**Trickster:** Great! Glad to have you aboard, pal! 

**Mirror Master:** _ (Draws Trickster aside)  _ How could you have talked to Glider “a few months ago”? You spent the last six months on a cross-country swindling trip and didn’t get back until three weeks ago! 

**Trickster:** _ (Aside to Mirror Master)  _ That’s right…..but  _ he  _ doesn’t know that. 

**Mirror Master:** _ (Aside to Trickster) _ Clever. 

**Trickster:** _ (Aside to Mirror Master)  _ I know, right?  _ (Aloud)  _ So, what’s the plan? 

Act III 

_ (Enter Wally and Iris)  _

**Wally:** Is there anything else you need me to do, Aunt Iris? 

**Iris:** Wally, you’ve already gotten me home from the airport, unpacked all my bags, put everything away, pulled everything out when you put everything away wrong, put everything away in the right places, delivered my letter to your Grandpa Ira in Florida, fixed my car, and repainted the garage. You’ve done enough. 

**Wally:** Aww, it was nothing, Aunt Iris. 

**Iris:** It wasn’t nothing. That was a lot of work, and I really appreciate it.  _ (Pause)  _ By the way, you haven’t eaten much since you brought me home. You should probably get some food. 

**Wally:** Good idea, Aunt Iris!  _ (Wally exits, then quickly re-enters)  _ I love Japanese food!

**Iris:** Did you really run all the way to Japan just to get food?   
**Wally:** Why not? I can get there and back in three seconds! 

**Iris:** _ (laughs)  _ Oh, Wally. You’ve gotta stop doing that before it rubs off on Bart. 

**Wally:** I think it might be too late for that. He’s already running to New York City to watch off-off-Broadway, after all. 

**Iris:** I know, but now that Barry doesn’t have his super speed, we need to dissuade him from doing that again. We can’t be calling you all the time because we can’t bring him back when he disappears to another continent. Without at least one parent with super speed, he needs to stay close to home so that we can help him if he gets into trouble. 

**Wally:** I don’t mind bringing him home. 

**Iris:** Yes, but I’m pretty sure your boss will mind if you have to keep leaving work to bring Bart home from Namibia or Laos or Bithynia. 

**Wally:** But he knows I’m the Flash! I have to leave work all the time! 

**Iris:** True, but there’s a difference between leaving work to stop crime or save people and leaving work to track down your cousin who went on a joyride. 

**Wally:** Yeah, you probably have a point there. 

**Iris:** As soon as he and Barry get home from their trip to the park, I’ll have Barry sit him down and have a little chat with him about running off to other states or foreign countries-assuming that he can focus long enough to get the message, that is. 

**Wally:** Hey, do you mind if I stick around until they get back? I wanted to talk to Uncle Barry about the Rogues’ latest escape from jail. 

**Iris:** Of course you can stay here! _ (Pause)  _ And why didn’t you tell me that the Rogues escaped? That always makes for a good news story! 

**Wally:** I don’t really know a lot about how it happened yet, so I guess it just slipped my mind. 

**Iris:** In that case, I’ll have to do some investigating to find out how….after Barry, Bart, and I have our little chat, of course. 

**Wally:** Have I ever told you that you’re awesome, Aunt Iris? 

**Iris:** Not lately. 

**Wally:** Well, you’re awesome.  _ (Phone rings)  _ Sorry! I have to get that!  _ (Pulls out phone)  _ Hello?  _ (Pause)  _ Oh, hi, Mrs. Rowen. Why are you calling?  _ (Pause)  _ Suspension? Why? They’re only kindergartners!  _ (Pause)  _ They did what?  _ (Pause)  _ Well, yes, I’m sure that the school having all its windows broken by dual sonic booms would be problematic, but they don’t know how to control their speed. I know they didn’t do it maliciously.  _ (Pause)  _ $600,000? Wow….That is a lot of money. I’m really sorry. I didn’t even know they were moving at supersonic speeds yet. Did anyone get hurt?  _ (Pause)  _ Two teachers are going to need stitches? Oh, no. I’m really sorry. I’m really, really, really sorry.  _ (Pause)  _ Yes, of course I’ll come meet with you. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. I’ll be right there. Bye.  _ (Puts phone away)  _ Looks like I won’t be able to talk to Uncle Barry. My kids shattered all the windows at the elementary school when they accidentally created a sonic boom, and now I have to meet with their principal. I swear, parenting super-powered children is a million times harder than fighting supervillains. At least with supervillains, I don’t have to pay for the damages that they cause. I’ve gotta run. Bye! 

_ (Exit Wally)  _

**Iris:** It’s at times like these that I’m glad Bart stayed in the Speed Force until he was old enough to know how to control his speed.  _ (Pause)  _ In speaking of Bart, there he and his dad are now. Hopefully, Bart will cooperate with the limits he sets on his travel, because if not, I’m not sure that Barry and I will be able to enforce them. Even Wally wasn’t as impulsive as Bart is. 

Act IV   
_ (Enter Top, Trickster, Mirror Master, and Weather Wizard. Trickster is wielding a fearsome rubber chicken and a kazoo)  _

**Mirror Master:** Did everyone make it through the Mirror Realm all right? 

**Top:** I feel more than a little nauseous, but otherwise, I am fine, since we  _ managed _ to arrive at our intended destination.

**Mirror Master:** What are you implying? 

**Top:** Nothing. It is simply that I would feel far more comfortable if I knew that the realm through which we traveled so shortly ago was controlled by a man who had at least completed his secondary education and who hailed from somewhere other than the part of town colloquially known as “Skid Row”. In all candor, your credentials do not inspire confidence. 

**Mirror Master:** Hey, I might not have your fancy education, but I’m just as smart as you. How else do you think I discovered an entire alternate dimension? 

**Top:** My supposition would be that the goddess Fortuna smiled upon an unworthy candidate with the freakish caprice for which she is known. 

**Mirror Master:** Are you saying I just got lucky? 

**Top:** Indeed. 

**Mirror Master:** You’ve got some nerve, Dillon! I worked for years to learn how the Mirror Realm worked! Just because I’m from Skid Row doesn’t mean I’m stupid! 

**Top:** My experience, and the experiences of my father, would suggest otherwise. 

**Trickster:** Girls, girls,  _ girls _ . You’re both pretty. Now, let’s start the heist already! I already deactivated the alarms, but they’ll come back on eventually. And besides, I’m bored! 

**Weather Wizard:** Trickster’s right. I already created enough snow to slow down the cops, but that won’t hold them forever, and it won’t hold our friend in the red pajamas at all. We need to hurry.

**Mirror Master:** Well, if the  _ Top _ is ready, so am I. 

**Top:** I was not the one delaying us, but I am quite prepared to proceed in our enterprise.  _ (To Trickster, as Weather Wizard and Mirror Master start grabbing jewelry)  _ Where is the engagement ring that my beloved desires? 

**Trickster:** _ (Looks around at the various rings)  _ Let’s see…..I know it’s around here  _ somewhere _ ….. _ (Finds a particularly ostentatious ring and points at it)  _ Oh! There it is! 

**Top:** Are you certain that that is what she desires? It seems a bit gaudy for her tastes. 

**Trickster:** Of course I’m sure!  _ (Aside) _ And I’m not lying. I’m _ sure  _ she’ll hate it, and I’m sure that learning that he got outsmarted by a circus brat will take Mr.Phony British Accent down a few pegs. He’s smart, but he’s not nearly as smart as he thinks he is. 

**Top:** You have my gratitude, Giovanni.  _ (Takes ring) _ Is there nothing that you are inclined to take? 

**Trickster:** Not really. I’m here to put on a show, not to take money.  _ (Pulls out bottle of paint)  _ Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to replace the bathroom sinks’ water with paint. 

_ (Exit Trickster; Top analyzes jewelry and slowly begins to select the sophisticated jewelry)  _

**Mirror Master:** _ (To Weather Wizard)  _ I know I said that I was getting a Ferrari, but I’ve been thinking it over, and I think I might get a Lamborghini instead. What do you think?

**Weather Wizard:** Which one’s faster? 

**Mirror Master:** I’m not sure. Except for a three-day period where I was in possession of W. W. Wiggins’s stolen Ferrari, I’ve never actually owned a car. 

**Weather Wizard:** _ (Surprised)  _ You’ve never owned a car? How’s that possible? Before I became the Weather Wizard, I was the world’s biggest loser, and even I had a car. I mean, granted, I crashed it into a tree, but I had one! 

**Mirror Master:** _ (Defensive)  _ I grew up in the inner city. Have you  _ seen _ the traffic in the interior of Central City? It’s a nightmare! There’s a  _ reason _ everyone takes the subway to work. The traffic gets so jammed that cars are basically useless. 

**Weather Wizard:** But you  _ still _ live in the inner city. If there’s no use for one, why do you want it so bad? 

**Mirror Master:** _ (Angrily)  _ Because I’m tired of being poor! I’ve spent my entire life either in jail or in tiny two-room apartments on Baker Street, and I’m sick of it! I’m sick of always being behind on rent, I’m sick of wearing other people’s cast-offs, and I’m SICK of Roscoe implying that I’m stupid! I want a car because it would be a sign that I finally have enough money to get off of Skid Row! People would have to give me some respect then! 

**Weather Wizard:** If it makes you feel any better, without the weather wand, nobody gives me any respect, either. The only reason that I’m here right now is to earn back the reputation I lost when it broke. I don’t really need the money. 

**Mirror Master:** You don’t?

**Weather Wizard:** Nah. I won a $20,000 poker game a few weeks ago. 

**Mirror Master:** But you’re terrible at poker!

**Weather Wizard:** _ (Shrugs)  _ I was playing against an 18-year-old who had just inherited his daddy’s company and had never played a game in his life. 

**Mirror Master:** And Dillon says I’M the one who gets lucky! 

**Weather Wizard:** Don’t take it personally, Sam. He’s a jerk to everyone-except Lisa, that is. 

**Mirror Master:** What does she see in him, anyway? 

**Weather Wizard:** That, my friend, is one of the great mysteries of life. He’s not even that attractive! 

**Top:** _ (Comes over)  _ It is not so mysterious as that. Unlike the rest of you ruffians, I am a man of birth, breeding, and education. Our relationship is a great boon for her social status, especially given the “trailer trash” from whence she comes-to use a colloquialism, of course-and I am certainly better company than any of you could hope to provide. Her selection of me as a paramor proves that she, alone among you “Rogues”, has taste. 

**Mirror Master:** _ (Sarcastically)  _ Yeah, you’re a real prince, Dillon. 

_ (Alarm goes off)  _

**Weather Wizard:** Oh, no! The alarm! We must’ve lost track of time, and now the Flash is gonna show up and make me a laughingstock all over again! 

_ (Enter Trickster)  _

**Trickster:** Where’s the Flash? He should be here by now! 

**Mirror Master:** Who cares? Let’s get outta here! 

**Trickster:** Wait! I want to fight the Flash! It’s no fun if I don’t get to fight the Flash! 

**Mirror Master:** Trickster, we got what we came for! Now let’s go! 

_ (All exit quickly, Mirror Master dragging a flailing Trickster)  _

Act V

_ (Mirror Master, Weather Wizard, Top, and Trickster are onstage, sitting. Trickster is pouting)  _

**Weather Wizard:** We...we actually did it? 

**Top:** Obviously. We are here and not in jail, are we not? 

**Weather Wizard:** I know that, I just can’t believe that we actually did it! We never get away with heists this big! 

**Mirror Master:** You’re right, Mardon. It’s been over four years since we had a heist that the Flash didn’t stop….and we got away with it! 

**Weather Wizard:** So, what do we do now? 

**Mirror Master:** I….I don’t know. It’s been years since we got away with anything, so I haven’t had a plan beyond “get away” in years. 

**Weather Wizard:** I guess you can buy your car now. 

**Mirror Master:** Yeah. I guess so.  _ (Sighs)  _ It’s so  _ weird _ that we’re not in jail right now. 

**Weather Wizard:** Tell me about it. I haven’t had a run of luck this good in ages! 

**Top:** It is not so peculiar as you are treating it. After all, I accompanied you on this heist, something I have not often done. It is not, therefore, terribly surprising that you were successful-I enabled you to come out on  _ top _ . 

**Mirror Master:** Dillon, do the world a favor and shut up. I’m not in the mood for your attitude. 

**Weather Wizard:** _ (To Trickster)  _ Hey, James, why are you so upset? We just got away with a million dollars! You should be on cloud nine! 

**Trickster:** I’m upset because the Flash didn’t show up! He’s what makes crime exciting! Since he wasn’t there and we did it at night, I didn’t have an audience, and it wasn’t any fun! Besides, escaping changes up the game. How are we supposed to start the game over if we don’t get captured and have to escape again? 

**Weather Wizard:** Now that you mention it, I did feel like our heist was lacking in that rush. It’s hard to feel excited when there’s no danger that you might be stopped. 

**Mirror Master:** Yeah. It’s not enjoyable to beat him when he doesn’t even show up.  _ (Pause)  _ But hey, at least we’re rich now, right? 

**Weather Wizard:** _ (Without confidence)  _ Right. And I’m sure we’ll be able to come up with something to do. It’ll be great! 

**Trickster:** _ (Petulantly)  _ No, it won’t. The game’s been ruined! 

**Mirror Master:** How has it been ruined? You don’t need the Flash to trick people.

**Trickster:** No, I don’t, but it’s not the same. I came back to Central City to play the game, and now the game has been ruined because the Flashes won’t play! 

**Weather Wizard:** _ (Too cheerfully)  _ Hey, why don’t we go get some ice cream? That’ll make us all feel better. 

**Mirror Master:** Sure, why not? 

**Trickster:** I guess so. But only if I can get gummy bears and rainbow sprinkles. 

**Top:** I will pass on that offer. I have fulfilled my part of the agreement and must get back to work. 

**Weather Wizard:** Okay. More for us, I guess. 

**Mirror Master:** _ (Mutters)  _ Good riddance.

**Trickster:** I had better get two dips, too. 

_ (Exit Trickster, Mirror Master, and Weather Wizard)  _

**Top:** Ahh. Peace and quiet at last.  _ (Pulls out cell phone)  _ Hello, Lisa, darling. This is Roscoe. How fares the mission?  _ (Pause)  _ Allen is willing to help you get the cure? Good. Good. Very good. You, my sweet, are a veritable Sarah Siddons.  _ (Pause)  _ Oh, my apologies. I thought that was common knowledge. Sarah Siddons was a famous Shakespearean actress who was renowned for her life-like portrayal of Lady Macbeth in the 19th century, and you are quite as talented an actress.  _ (Pause)  _ Oh! I almost forgot. I have pleasant news as well, honeybunch. I appropriated the engagement ring that you so desired!  _ (Pause)  _ Wait, you never picked out a ring for that purpose? My profuse apologies, sweetums. It seems that I was misinformed.  _ (Pause)  _ Don’t worry, my dearest darling. The pain has been quite manageable, and given what you have just told me, I have no fear for my life.  _ (Pause)  _ Thank you, darling. Your snuggle-bunny loves you, too. Good-bye.  _ (Puts phone away)  _ **TRICK-STER!**

_ (Scene change. Enter Wally, in jewelry store)  _

**Wally:** Aw, come on! I’m getting sued by the school district AND I let the Rogues get away? Man, this just isn’t my day!  _ (Pause)  _ Oh, well. If there’s one thing that Uncle Barry’s taught me, it’s that a true hero never gives up. I’m sure to find them eventually-especially since they aren’t exactly subtle.  _ (Pause)  _ And if there’s one good thing about all this, it’s that things can’t possibly get worse! I’ll go get a quick snack, and then I’ll find Aunt Iris and Uncle Barry so that we can take down those Rogues- in a Flash! 

**Author's Note:**

> As always, thanks for reading!


End file.
